As we mused on themes of values and post-Olaf life, we realized that there was a crucial element missing. The typical college student in our generation is career-focused, vocation-seeking, and professional-future-oriented, and it is seen as detrimental, archaic, or unambitious to also pursue a life partner during our college career. How did we feel about this as a community?
Sudip sent us two fascinating articles to read. This one explores the modern trend of women embracing career-driven roles and avoiding romantic relationships in college, and this one discusses the advantages to marrying young, offering a perspective with which many of us were unfamiliar. After reading each piece, we had a discussion about our perceptions of the culture of dating, hooking up, and relationships at St. Olaf and about our own personal visions for how we see this incorporated into our lives.
In general, we found that the New York Times piece was too binary and assumptive. Does one have to completely sacrifice one's dating life in order to be academically and professionally successful? We certainly hope not. Many of us see ourselves eventually being married/having a life partner and/or starting a family. As a group of students hoping to lead a holistic and balanced life, this seems counterintuitive. Also, we generally found that the cases mentioned here were on the far end of the spectrum. While we acknowledge that the St. Olaf campus still does foster a certain element of a need to be in a relationship, we thought that this practice may be more unhealthy.
At the same time, we all believe that most St. Olaf students have very little experience being independent outside of campus life, perhaps some time a abroad, and maybe a summer or two at a summer camp. And we feel that these experiences really aren't enough of an exposure to a non-cushioned life to give us the perspective we need on what matters to us in a life partner. While we acknowledge that it can be valuable to find long-term relationships in college, it may not be wise to commit to them in the very long-term before living after graduation.
We posed several other questions for ourselves. Why do many women our age reject the feminism term? What are things everyone would not bend on when it comes to selecting a life partner? How is love for a partner different than the deep love in a close friendship? How do we balance being passionate about service with wanting to raise a family?
Talking about something that is generally taboo to personalize made us think critically about how we've evaluated our values this summer and how we tangibly see them as present in these sorts of situations.
Sudip sent us two fascinating articles to read. This one explores the modern trend of women embracing career-driven roles and avoiding romantic relationships in college, and this one discusses the advantages to marrying young, offering a perspective with which many of us were unfamiliar. After reading each piece, we had a discussion about our perceptions of the culture of dating, hooking up, and relationships at St. Olaf and about our own personal visions for how we see this incorporated into our lives.
In general, we found that the New York Times piece was too binary and assumptive. Does one have to completely sacrifice one's dating life in order to be academically and professionally successful? We certainly hope not. Many of us see ourselves eventually being married/having a life partner and/or starting a family. As a group of students hoping to lead a holistic and balanced life, this seems counterintuitive. Also, we generally found that the cases mentioned here were on the far end of the spectrum. While we acknowledge that the St. Olaf campus still does foster a certain element of a need to be in a relationship, we thought that this practice may be more unhealthy.
At the same time, we all believe that most St. Olaf students have very little experience being independent outside of campus life, perhaps some time a abroad, and maybe a summer or two at a summer camp. And we feel that these experiences really aren't enough of an exposure to a non-cushioned life to give us the perspective we need on what matters to us in a life partner. While we acknowledge that it can be valuable to find long-term relationships in college, it may not be wise to commit to them in the very long-term before living after graduation.
We posed several other questions for ourselves. Why do many women our age reject the feminism term? What are things everyone would not bend on when it comes to selecting a life partner? How is love for a partner different than the deep love in a close friendship? How do we balance being passionate about service with wanting to raise a family?
Talking about something that is generally taboo to personalize made us think critically about how we've evaluated our values this summer and how we tangibly see them as present in these sorts of situations.
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